Justin wrote this and boy, did he certainly made fun out of me and my cadbury diet.
excerpt from unpublished memoirs of a dieting richie
Act 1: richie’s 9th day of dieting
[Singapore General Hospital, unknown ward. mid-afternoon on a rainy monday. dr alan (standing), richie (sitting), stanley, (standing), justin (standing) are visiting anthony (lying on bed). anthony who has fallen ill from a (query) blood infection). nurses walking around in the background, alternately shrouding a glum anthony in their shadows. boxes of cadbury mixed nuts, re-sealable mini oreo’s etc etc etc lie on the moveable table]
richie: (picks up box of cadbury’s, stares at it lovingly)… “hey, it’s ok to have just one piece what…. “
[flips open lid and pops a cadbury chocolate coated mixed nut into mouth. stanley and justin stare on bemusedly and exchange knowing glances.]
richie: okae, maybe two.
[repeat above. attracts the attention of dr alan who stares.]
richie: okae, maybe three.
[repeat above.]
richie: (reluctantly relinquishes possession of cadbury’s) okae, maybe that’s enough.
[anthony, justin, stanley and dr alan doing their best to stifle their laughter, alas the quivering at the edges of their lips betrays them ever so slightly.]
[lights fade]
[lights on]
[small-talk in the background. stanley, justin, richie, dr alan surround a bed-ridden anthony.]
richie: (picks up box of cadbury’s) anthony, you want any?
anthony: no, it’s ok richie, finish it, i don’t like chocolates.
stanley: yes, richie, you want it. (sticks right thumb up) mmmmmmm….
justin: yes, richie, it’s okae. (enlarges eyeballs) really.
dr alan: … [slightly mocking smile curled out of the corner of his mouth]
richie: (hesitates, but then peers into the box of cadbury’s as if it were pandora’s. picks the smallest piece and extracts it ever so carefully popping into his mouth.) mmm. yummy!
richie: (examines the box carefully again. picks the next smallest piece and vanquishes it into into the dark recesses of his mouth. again. and again. and again.) this is so sinful!!!
[dr alan, stanley, justin and anthony stare by the side.]
[richie puts down the one-third empty box of cadbury’s. thinks of patting stomach. decides otherwise.]
stanley: so, richie, was that your sixth?
richie: (guilty-ridden tone with a richie-caught-with-hands-in-cookie-jar expression) more than that. i think i lost count.
[temporary silence. anthony’s mum shuffles in the background.]
stanley: (stretches for emphasis) di-et.
justin: wah lau. richie. just give up larh. haha.
dr alan: (attempts to call on his MBBS Singapore clinical expertise. comments in a professional-like tone) richie, your diet doesn’t appear to be much different from your normal diet.
[justin & stanley burst out laughing]
richie: (stares in turn at justin and stanley) you all are so bad! it’s all your fault!
utterly hilarious.
i wanna kill justin and stanley..
but LOL it’s really damn funny.. ok wtf..
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